Improving Eye Contact in Children with Autism: A Parent’s Daily Guide

Many parents of autistic children wonder why their child avoids eye contact—and whether they should be encouraging it. While eye contact is considered a key part of social communication in many cultures, it can be uncomfortable or overwhelming for some autistic children.

The good news is: eye contact can be improved gently and respectfully, without pressure or shame. In this article, we explore why eye contact may be difficult, and share five practical, daily strategies to help your child feel more confident making and maintaining eye contact.

Why Do Autistic Children Avoid Eye Contact?

Eye contact is often one of the first communication challenges noticed in children with autism

Some reasons eye contact may be challenging for autistic children include:

• Sensory overload: Looking into someone’s eyes while processing speech can be too much stimulation.
• Social processing differences: Interpreting facial expressions can be confusing or exhausting.
• Anxiety: Social interactions may cause discomfort, especially if the child feels watched or judged.
• Neurological differences: Brain scans show different activity patterns in areas related to social gaze and attention.

For some autistic individuals, avoiding eye contact helps them focus better on what’s being said. So, the goal is not to force eye contact—but to help the child feel comfortable enough to make it naturally, in their own time.

Should You Encourage Eye Contact in Autistic Children?

Yes—but gently and respectfully. Forcing a child to “look at me” can backfire and cause distress. Instead, build positive associations with eye contact and gradually increase comfort through daily, low-pressure interactions.

Let’s explore 5 practices you can use in your home starting today.

1. Use Playful Face-to-Face Games

Children learn best through play. Choose games where eye contact happens naturally, without commands. Some effective activities include:

• Peekaboo: This classic game encourages eye contact in a safe, predictable context.
• Rolling a ball back and forth: Pause before each roll and look into your child’s eyes with a smile.
• Bubbles: Blow bubbles, pause, and wait for eye contact before blowing again.
• Singing songs with gestures: Songs like “If You’re Happy and You Know It” or “Pat-a-Cake” involve looking at your face and copying movements.

Keep your tone joyful and warm. Over time, your child may look at you more often because it feels fun—not forced.

2. Position Yourself at Eye Level

Many opportunities for connection are missed simply because we’re above the child’s line of sight. When interacting, kneel or sit so you are face-to-face. This positioning encourages natural eye contact and helps your child feel seen, not dominated.

During meals, story time, or playtime, try to be at their level. Use calm, expressive facial cues, and wait a few seconds after speaking—giving your child time to respond or look up.

3. Encourage Eye Contact Through Choice-Making

Create gentle moments where your child needs to look at you to make a choice. Hold two snacks, two toys, or two books and ask, “Do you want this one or this one?” Pause and wait. If your child looks at you, even briefly, respond warmly: “You looked at me—you want the red ball!”

This helps the child associate eye contact with getting their needs met, without feeling forced. Keep these moments short and positive.

4. Model Eye Contact Yourself

Children learn through observation. Make sure that you are modeling relaxed, friendly eye contact during conversations with your child and others around them.

When talking to your child, use expressive facial expressions and brief glances. Avoid staring, which can be intimidating. If your child looks at you even for a second, smile back—this builds positive emotional feedback.

Be mindful not to pressure them. Avoid repeatedly saying “look at me.” Instead, comment on what you see: “I love when we look at each other!” or “You looked at me with your eyes!”

5. Build Comfort in Quiet, One-on-One Moments

Some children struggle with eye contact in busy or noisy environments but do better when it’s just one-on-one with a parent or caregiver. Use quiet bonding routines like:

• Reading books together face-to-face
• Telling simple stories while sitting close
• Sharing snacks while chatting
• Naming body parts while looking in a mirror together

These moments are relaxed and safe, which is the best context for building trust and visual connection. The more emotionally secure your child feels, the more likely they are to connect visually.

What to Avoid

• Never force your child to maintain eye contact—it may increase anxiety or cause meltdowns.
• Avoid grabbing their face or chin to make them look at you.
• Don’t equate eye contact with intelligence or politeness—many highly intelligent autistic individuals struggle with eye gaze.

Remember, the goal is comfort, not compliance.

Progress Takes Time

For some children, eye contact improves slowly over months. For others, it may always remain limited—but compensated for with other rich forms of communication like gestures, words, or visuals.

Celebrate small wins: a glance during play, a moment of eye contact during snack time, or looking up during a story. These are real steps toward connection.

How ARULA for Autism Supports YOU!

Eye contact is a fundamental and natural urge for children to connect with their social environment, and this begins within the nurturing setting of home and parental Bonding especially children with Autism.

ARULA emphasizes the importance of fostering communicational bonding between child and caregivers, which significantly enhances not only the child's cognitive and social development but also their psychological well-being. With the help of ARULA Children become more present and engaged in the moment, deepening their connection with the world around them.

This vital skill helps children, especially those who are autistic or neurodivergent, to build stronger relationships and navigate social interactions more confidently, creating a foundation for lifelong communicative and emotional growth.

At ARULA, we view eye contact not as a checkbox to be ticked, but as a reflection of emotional safety and connection. Our parent-led approach uses everyday routines and culturally relevant strategies to help children engage visually—without pressure.

Through play-based modules, daily modeling, and parent training, ARULA helps children feel connected to their caregivers. Eye contact begins to happen naturally—during a smile, a gesture, a shared laugh—because it comes from trust.

Unlike rigid behavior systems, ARULA emphasizes emotional attunement and fostering comfort in the child’s world, which often leads to more frequent, meaningful eye contact over time.

Final Thoughts

Improving eye contact in autistic children is not about forcing them to "act normal." It's about building trust, connection, and confidence—so they feel safe looking into your eyes.

With gentle daily practices, patient modeling, and loving consistency, your child can begin to engage more visually—not because they’re told to, but because they want to.