Blog Details

• Mayuri Ramdasi
• 09 Aug, 2023

Independence over Intelligence:�Make your child Self-Sufficient first, a Genius later.

Independence over Intelligence: Make your child Self-Sufficient first, a Genius later.

(Ms. Mayuri Ramdasi – Founder and Creator of ARULA for Autism and Consultant Speech and Language Therapist with experience of over 22 years and counting. She has treated autistic children from all over the world including UAE, Bangladesh, UK, Canada, South Africa, and of course India.)

Today, I want to talk about an idea. At the same time, I want to share a story, something that happened to me. A few months ago, some parents came to me with their child who was about 8 years old, who was experiencing Autism and had a speech delay. We talked and shared a lot about the child, his case history, his Autism journey so far. The father was really excited and happy to begin with the Promising, Holistic (Speech) Therapy of ARULA for Autism. 

He told me, "My child is really smart, very sharp." 

I said, "Definitely." 

Then he told me, "My child can solve a puzzle with 500 to 600 pieces." 

I said, "That's really good." 

He also said, "My child can sit in one place for almost 4 hours and solve puzzles, around 500 to 600 pieces. He stays focused and doesn't get distracted." He seemed so happy when he talked about this. 

I told him, "That's a great thing about your child, being able to solve so many puzzles."

But I had some questions for him. He answered them honestly. 

The first question was about his 8-year-old child, I asked, "Imagine giving your child 10 rupees and asking him to go to a nearby shop to buy his favorite chips, which cost 10 rupees. Can your child do this?" 

Then I asked about a second scenario: "You and your child are walking on a small road. On the other side, you see your friend holding something. If you ask your child to go get it and come back, can your child do it? The road is not very busy." This was the second situation.

Next, I asked about the third and last scenario. I described a situation where the mother is cooking in the kitchen and someone comes to the door to collect clothes for ironing. In this situation, can your child inform your mother of the same and give the clothes to the person? Or can your child just see the clothes, know they need to be given for ironing, and give them to the person without even telling your mother?’ 

These were the simple situations I asked about with one common, pressing question: Can your child do these things?

The father didn't know what to say. He admitted that his child needs a lot of help with these tasks. The child can't do them on his own. He needs someone to help and watch him all the time. This made me ask an important question to the father and other parents who have children with autism. 

What's more important? Is it making your child sit and solve puzzles for hours? Or is it helping your child do everyday things, using their own thinking and making their own choices? Think about this question.

All parents must question whether their children can do everyday tasks easily. Can they talk well and use their language to communicate their needs and wants? Can they use their intuition to form independent decisions revolving around simple, non-complicated tasks of every day? All parents must take time to think about what's more important for their child- Whether it is showcasing unparalleled traits of intelligence, or signs of self-sufficiency and independence. Spending a lot of time solving puzzles isn't the most important thing. Sure, it is applaudable, but is it crucial to lead an easy life? Answer is no. A child who can go and get his favorite pack of chips by himself will surely require less to no assistance from others to live through his day, rather than the child who only knows how to solve puzzles. 

What matters is giving your child chances to learn new things every day, to do everyday tasks, and to do more complicated things where they need to think and solve problems. They need to use their minds, be aware of what's happening around them, and make their own choices. Give your child the chance to learn how to do all these kinds of things.

~ Ms. Mayuri Ramdasi